9.9.24 - on wasting time
Well I think it's time for another journal entry! It's been a few weeks since my last one. Time has just flown by. It's weird how fast time passes sometimes. I don't like it! But I think I'm partly to blame in that. Not going to lie, I waste a LOT of time just scrolling social media, sometimes. And it does me 0 good. Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to information -- like I'm convinced I'm going to find some article, or some tweet, or some youtube video that's going to give me the answer to life, that's going to solve all my problems. I've listened to so many "self-improvement" podcasts over the past year, but honestly I can only think of one that's really stuck out and actually helped me. Was all that time spent on consuming all that content worth it just to find that one gem?
I'm not so sure. I want to say yes, but at the same time, all of the valuable time I sacrificed in order to find that nugget of wisdom could have been spent doing much more important and fruitful things. And I know, I know... it's not time wasted if you're having fun! I hear the choir singing. But was I really having fun? I don't know. I feel like a majority of time I spend online isn't done out of joy or passion, it's just something to do because I don't know what else to do. And I've struggled with this for a long time. When I was a teenager, in an attempt to get myself to spend less time on the computer, I wrote a sticky note on my monitor as a reminder: "The computer is something to do, not WHAT you do."
I feel like I should apply that same philosophy to my phone usage. I've really been thinking about cleaning up my phone, deleting apps, making to into as much of a "dumb" phone as possible so I'm not tempted to flush my precious time down the toilet.
'cause that's one thing I've learned as I've gotten older -- time is really our most precious asset, and we don't know how much we have left.
I have more to say on this topic, specifically how it relates to streaming and content creation in general. But I think I'll save that for another day!
~see ya
Today I heard about Rachael Lillis passing on 8/10, who if you don't know, was the original voice actress for Misty and Jessie in Pokemon. She had a lot of other roles in other series, but I knew her most for playing those characters (and Jigglypuff!).
Anyway, I found myself weirdly affected by the news, like... I even cried a little? I think it's the first "celebrity" death that's ever made me cry, even. I think it's mostly because Pokemon, literally, was my childhood. It was probably the biggest constant in my life during my childhood. And when I say I was obsessed with pokemon, I mean I was obsessed... I would record episodes on VHS while I was at school so I could watch them when I got home... would play pokemon on my gameboy every day after school ALL NIGHT until going to bed (and even in bed under the covers sometimes). When I was in high school, I wrote pokemon fanfiction. You get the picture...
So hearing about her passing really hit a nerve, not only because I really liked her work, but because it seems like a sort of reminder that childhood really is over and there's no going back. That era of life is over. I can still look back on it and reminisce, I can still watch old episodes of pokemon when I'm sick with the flu (which is what I do; it's my comfort show), but there's no going back to being 8 or 10 and getting home from school and just escaping with pokemon.
Escape is harder to do, now. Whether it's because of work, or chores, or just the weight of everything wrong seeming to be going on in the world these days... I find it harder and harder to just forget things and let myself get immersed in things.
To my credit, I DID play Pokemon Ultra Sun earlier this year, which was really nice. I did kind of rush through bits of the story, but I otherwise had a really good time with it. (I really want to take my time when I play games and fully enjoy them, but I guess there's still a bit of speedrunner left in me.)
Funnily enough, I was thinking about Jessie's voice earlier today. I heard a lady laughing in the park and it reminded me of her classic maniacal laugh. And then later I hear the news about ther voice actor. I think it's kind of a cute coincidence, anyway.
As awesome/funny as Jessie was, though, I think I like Misty more. She was definitely a character I identified with, because she was a little on the tomboy-ish side, although she could also be girly when she wanted to. She had kind of a fiery temper but wasn't afraid to yell at people for stepping over her boundaries. All in all, not a bad role model for a little kid to watch on the TV all the time.
RIP Rachael, ty for everything <3
8.13.24 - RIP Rachael Lillis
